Tales of false teeth, and the surround sound scream

Apartment living, and why it had to end:

When Josh and I first started dating, in April 2008, we were both very uncomfortable with our living situations.

I'd recently been dumped by someone I was planning on moving out west with - I wasn't so much attached to the idea of moving *with* him, but I did want to move. Needless to say, the breakup ended those plans.

So I moved back in with my dad. My dad owns a house in the town I grew up in...at that time, my brothers, Greg and Graham, were living with him, too. It was very much a manly man house - not a lot of cooking, or dishwashing, or cleaning in general. Plus, there was a family of spiders living in my bedroom. SPIDERS.

Josh was living with his best friend's cousin. While he was a very nice guy, they just didn't mesh well for the most part.

So two months into our relationship, we decide to move into the only apartment building in the area that had vacancies. WHEEEE!

And things were great for awhile. I mean, sure, our ceiling leaked whenever it rained. The there was a huge crack in the ceiling/outside wall...that maybe indicated that the structure wasn't as safe as we hoped, but hey, my dad's house had SPIDERS. Scary, mean spiders that probably climbed in my ears, nose, and mouth while I was sleeping.

Anyways. In the last few months, we've run into a new phenomenon in this building - "surround sound screaming".
You see, my neighbors apparently have some relationship problems - and I don't mean one neighbor, I mean ALL of them.

Our next door neighbor, it's a strange situation. He is married, but moved here to continue his education. So he rented this apartment, and his wife was staying in their actual home.

Turns out this is an elaborate attempt on his behalf to leave her. The last six months have been filled with so many days of him screaming over the phone, throwing things, telling MaryLou over and over again that she just needs to LISTEN! That's all he says - she must be very wordy, because all I ever hear him say is "Listen maryl--NO LISTEN TO ME M---SERIOUSLY LISTEN TO ME MARYLOU!"

And then there's the across the hall neighbors. The first time I met these charming individuals, whose names I do not actually know, his opening line was this: "I GOT STABBED IN THE HEART".

Oh, okay. After looking at his chest to make sure he didn't mean...he'd just gotten stabbed in the heart, I inquired as to what had happened.

His first wife, and the mother of his children (she still has custody of them, and there's always people trying to serve him with papers for a court case for child support) stabbed him in the heart.

No other details. Okay.

His current wife if 20 years older than him. Personally, I do not care. However, he tells me this every bloody time I see him.

One of the problems with her being 20 years older than him....she has a problem with his 37 year old ass sitting around all day watching anime, and never leaving the house.

These folks make a daily trip to the garbages in the building, to look for liquor bottles that they can return.

Another one of his opening lines was "Heh you can probably smell that we had ribs for dinner" (I couldn't) "They were delicious...fall off the bone, ya know? They have to be for this one (points at wife) since her teeth come out as soon as she gets home".

ORLY?

So, that was the beginning of the end of apartment living. Tales of false teeth, and the surround sound screaming.